The final page.
There's no easy way to write this. And although I had expected it at the beginning, it had all started to sound so hopeful.
But there was nothing I could do for Harry but make the most important decision for him. The hardest decision of my life, one I thought I had at least a few more years before even needing to start thinking about it.
Yet it presented itself. Here and now.
I looked at Harry and I knew. The boy was a shadow of himself, bored, taking out his frustration on those who used to be his friends and getting worse, so quickly now, the tripping, and near falls. His eyes broke you - that pain.
They say you know your own horses best and you will know what is right to do - they are right.
You may try and convince yourself otherwise but you know. And it's that knowledge I held that made the decision.
So that's Harry now, a magical ginger unicorn. Over the rainbow bridge. Happy.
When you see me you'll never know I shed tears all the time for him, I seem to have moved on quick. But it's hard for me to face the loss of this boy. I grieve in my own space. I say the facts so bluntly, for I cannot go into detail as I would break down. So know that although I seem alright the pain is there.
I don't know how people go through the motions, I guess I shall find out. But for now there is a hole, a feeling that nothing will ever be the same. So many plans, so many changes. The memories stuck up on the wall.
It's hard to think about him. But I do every moment of time. He is on my mind. It's much harder than I imagined.
But the thing that gets me through all of this is I know Harry doesn't linger. It may seem odd to say but I felt a shift of air, when all was done and all was quiet. About 5/10 mins later I felt it. It was a huge sigh of relief. He was relieved, he was pain free. He happily flew.
Some of you may not understand, some of you will.
But to Harry:
To you, the one who helped silence the can'ts, Cannot, should not, will not. Who echoed the world's light. When knowing the fears and worries. Who held so much together showing true strength, love, care, and everything that is good. To you, to the horse who is so much more than a horse. I would not be here without you. Thank you for all you are, Rest In Peace